The World According to J.

This has been an insane semester so far.  I’m teaching Western World Lit from 1700-1900 and auditing French in the afternoons MWF.  TR I have Poetry, 19th Century Lit, and Literature & Sociology. W afternoons I have a class on teaching methods. And in the evenings I run. This doesn’t leave me a lot of time to do things like grocery shop or remember to get my glasses fixed.  Also I kinda need to take the cat to the vet but I can never seem to find the time. Poor D doesn’t get to see a lot of me and I’m glad I live with my friends otherwise I’d never see them.

The world according to J is this: I can’t wait until I can just have a normal job, live in one place for more than 10 months at a time, grow some tomatoes, have time to go to the grocery store, and remember what it’s like to have a life.  I yearn for the day when I can do something crazy like take a vacation, read a book for fun, or sit through an entire movie without remembering 1,000 things I should be doing instead.  I never thought I’d say it but the real world is kinda looking good. Being an adult is easier than being an adult and a student.

Currently reading:

• Northanger Abbey, by Jane Austen
• Selected Poems, by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
• From Mandeville to Marx, by Louis Dumont
• Platero y yo, by Juan Ramon Jimenez
• The Complete Book of Running for Women, by Claire Kowalchick
• Mise en Scene, by Cheryl Krueger
• Pause-Cafe, by Nora Megharbi
• What to Eat, by Marion Nestle
• Ahead of All Parting, by Ranier Maria Rilke
• The Red and the Black, by Stendhal
• Lyrical Ballads, by William Wordsworth

I think you can guess which ones of those are for my classes.

BeNeLux pictures are up!

Ok, so I posted pictures on Picasa. In theory this should work, but let me know if there are issues!

http://picasaweb.google.com/jocelynmarieyoung/BeNeLux?authkey=Gv1sRgCNfXtObt7uWcBQ&feat=email#

Pictures Forthcoming

I’ll post some pictures and more details in a bit, but for now here’s a general idea of what I’ve been up to for the last few days:

21 May: Bruges, Belgium

22 May: day off (kinda) back in Mons, Belgium

23 May: Ville de Luxemborg, Luemborg for Dustin’s marathon

24 May: Ville de Luxemborg + Maastricht, Netherlands

25 May: Maastricht + Den Hague, Netherlands + Delft, Netherlands

Made It!

Made it to Belgium in one piece! I’m forcing myself to be lazy…not only is it good for me but this is one of my last opportunities to do that in the forseeable future.  I’m totally having fun hanging out with D though.

I’m happy :)

General Boarding Call

Continental Airline Attendant: This is a general boarding call for flight 60 to Newark.  We are now boarding all seats in all rows.  For those who are considered part of this general boarding call, please do not sit in the large, cushy blue seats at the front of the aircraft, those are reserved for people who have paid twice the price.  Thank you.

Welcome to Ohio, The Great Potato State

I’m currently in Cherokee, IA, home of cows, corn, cold weather…and my dad.  As I type this I’m burrowing under flannel sheets, 2 blankets, a duvet, a quilt, and an electric blanket.  And I’m not all that warm.  Today’s high was -3 (F), and the rest of the week isn’t exactly looking much better:

Monday: 9/9

Tuesday: 22/0

Wednesday: 9/-4

Thursday: 23/13

Friday: 31/13

This does not include windchills.  And yes, Katharine, I know you’re used to this kind of crap and think I’m a total wimp.  I don’t care.  This is freaking cold!

I was on the phone with Nick earlier, trying to explain to him just how cold it is here.

Nick: How’s Iowa? Is it cold?

Me: Freezing! The high today is -3.

Nick: Seriously? How is that even possible?

Me: I’m standing in the bathroom right now and there’s ice inside the windows.

Nick: Do your parents not have heat?

Me: No, they have heat, and it’s on.  It’s just that cold.

Nick: Can you bottle that and bring it back just so I know what it feels like?

Me: You know when you’re camping and it’s so cold you can’t feel your feet and your skin actually hurts? It’s like that.  Only it just takes about 3 seconds of exposure to make it happen.

Nick: It’s like 50 here.

The Sisterhood of Rainbow Brite

Me: My life has gotten so boring. I think my writers are on strike.

Katharine: Mine too. Well, actually, the only ones working are the ones who like to make me seem crazy.

Me: You are crazy.

Katharine: Shut up.

Me: ::giggle::

Katharine: Oh wait!! I almost forgot! I got engaged to Mickey Mouse! We’re getting married in three months!

Me: I’m totally going to be your bridesmaid, right?

Katharine: Of course!

Me: Phew! See?? We’re not as boring as we thought!

Katharine: I know! We just need to talk to each other more!

Me: Holy crap! I have a brilliant and totally geeky idea. Promise you won’t laugh at me!

Katharine: I can’t promise that, you know that.

Me: We totally have to trade the Rainbow Brite shirt back and forth, like in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants!

Katharine: I’m not laughing.

Me: No! Its awesome! We can both have the shirt and we can both get non-bill mail!

Katharine: Yes!!

Me: We are so brilliant!! And not boring!!

I wish we were kidding….

At That Place Again

I’m at that place again. Where I love the semblance of stability in my life but am still desperate for adventures abroad. Several of my friends are currently living abroad, in China, Peru, Spain, the UK, Romania. Hearing about their adventures makes me so jealous that I can barely see straight. I’m desperate for culture, language, adventure. I’ve never loved living in Atlanta, but at the moment the thought of spending another year here makes me feel smothered.

And then, I look around at my wonderful boyfriend and the adorable dog and the great house I live in and I think about how selfish and awful and ungrateful these thoughts make me feel. In my heart I know that this time here, in a city I do not love filled with people I do not desire to know, is meant to make me feel uncomfortable. It is meant to make me step out of my comfort zone. Moving to Spain, or China, or the UK would feel more comfortable to me than staying in my own country. Staying here is a test of my ability to make something out of nothing, to be a better version of myself.

I hope that someday, I’ll be able to leave and come back to find that I have missed this place.

This is Why I Don’t Want to Fly Anywhere Right Now

According to a BBC News release, the US airline system…well, sucks.

I’m shocked.

You mean all the recent safety concerns, canceled flights, unhappy customers (etc.) haven’t been imagining things?

We need a good train system.

Traffic

This is a message to everyone out there who thinks it’s a good idea to drive like an imbecile on Friday after work.  Message: It’s not.

This is what things look like on a normal Friday afternoon…

…and this is what it looks like when you people decide you just HAVE to get to that all-important dinner meeting on time.

I’ve got news for all you Friday-evening-dinner-meetings-have-to-get-Jimmy-to-soccer-types.  No one, I repeat, NO ONE is going to die because you didn’t get there on time.  In fact, nothing bad will happen at all.  So, get off your damn conference calls, watch where you’re going, and stop running over motorcyclists!

Leaves and Fishes

In spite of my greatest and book-iest efforts, the bookcase happiness has been fleeting. I’m trying to make the inevitable grad school decision, which is turning out to be a hell of a lot more difficult than I thought it would. I think the root of the problem is that my interests are still too vast. In reality I probably need to go on and get 3 more BAs and then think about grad school. Since that’s not going to happen, its mostly coming down to money. Even though UGA is the cheapest deal, I’m beginning to think it might not be the best school for me. USC is relatively affordable, but their program isn’t perfect. And HU is ludicrously expensive and has a great program. HU lets me incorporate sociology, BUT they won’t let me do my MA in two languages, I have to do it in English only. Whereas, at USC I can combine English, Spanish and French, but no sociology, strictly literature. Like I said, I need to go back to undergrad.

On top of that, I’m trying to find another job to tide me over financially until I can defer my student loans again. And B is having an early mid-life crisis. Wait, here’s where it gets really crazy. I don’t actually feel that stressed out, mostly just exhausted. In an effort to get the heck out of dodge for a bit in the midst of our crazy schedules, I’m trying ton convince B that we need to go hiking at Ft. Mtn. again to see the trees leafing or head up to the TN Aquarium because he really likes the fishes and I really like TN.

I’m exhausted and my entire body feels fuzzy. Its time for a break from here.

Condensed Geography

I never thought I’d be so depressed to get into grad school. Ever since I met B, I’ve been afraid that I’d be put in a position where I’d have to choose between someone I love and something I love. I’m in love with B. He’s in Atlanta. I’m in love with HU’s grad program. Its in New York. For those of you who don’t know, New York is approximately 883.39 miles from Atlanta. I’m thinking that something more along the lines of 8.83 is looking better. I’d settle for 88.3 though, if pressed.

Obviously, relocating entire cities is the only answer.

I guess the up side here is that I found not one but two things that I love enough to anguish about them for hours. There’s something to be said for that.

Fruit, Nature and Happiness

Man is a mystery. It needs to be unraveled, and if you spend your whole life unraveling it, don’t say that you’ve wasted time. I am studying that mystery because I want to be a human being. -Dostoevsky

Today I finished this book that my friend Katharine gave me for Christmas. It didn’t actually take me six weeks to read it, but I was putting it off because I wasn’t sure it would be any good. Its called Cold Tangerines, the cover is bright orange, and Katharine was really excited about it. Honestly, I think that’s the real reason I was less than thrilled about the thing. She and I never, ever agree on books. She’s Ted Dekker and I’m F. Scott Fitzgerald. In fact, in the entire time I’ve known her, I think the only books we’ve agreed on is Blue Like Jazz, and only because its just so amazingly wonderful. Katharine, if you’re reading this (and I’m betting you’re not), I was wrong. Oh so wrong. Cold Tangerines is Blue Like Jazz from a girl’s P.O.V., and I want to read it three times over.

Yesterday, the boy and I went to Fort Yargo State Park and just walked through trails in the woods for hours. We must have walked three or four miles and gotten lost half a dozen times. B and I had a really rough couple of days, nothing I want to go into, but suffice it to say that we cried a lot. Things are a lot better now, but for a few days there I thought it was all going to fall apart and I couldn’t understand why that would happen. See, I know in my heart that he’s the guy I’m supposed to be with, and even the thought of something breaking us up felt horrible and wrong. The woods are forgiving, they muffle, calm, and put into perspective most any problem you throw at them. Yesterday was no different. When we left we were both exhausted, but so much happier and calmer than we had been in days. I know now that we’re going to be okay. It’s going to be hard, probably harder than anything I’ve ever attempted, but I also know that it’s going to be worth it.

I’m mentioning all of this because this is the first time in weeks that I have felt alive. I spent most of January mourning. Mourning the fact that I’m no longer in school, that I have to bust my ass to get back into school, that I’m no longer employed, that I have to bust my ass to get another job, that I live in a place where I’m less than happy, and struggling with the fear that I won’t be able to pay my bills. The bad news is that none of that has changed. Yet. The good news is that it will, and that I now believe that. So, B, thank you too. For putting up with me, for not giving up on me, for not leaving me, and for never failing to remind me that all of this is temporary (and most of it’s in my head…lol). I love you.