Its Official

My entire familty is completely crazy.

End game? I lose my car.

Hurrah.

So Happy Christmas…

And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear ones
The old and the young

Its pushing midnight here on Christmas Eve and I’m sitting in the bed in the guest room at my dad’s house in Iowa thinking about life and family and about a million other things.  And, as I send text messages to my friends that are returned with little electronic alien noises to my phone, the thing that springs to mind is something I read on the back of a water bottle a while ago.  According to this study, if you feel thirsty then it’s a sign that you’re already getting dehydrated.  This means that we spend most of our lives actually being thirsty and not even knowing it…so basically we should be drinking water all the time.

I can see why whatever water company I was supporting spent money on having this printed on their bottles; this is great for their business.  However, I can’t help but thinking how this is such a universal thing.  If this applies to something as basic as water intake, how far does it really stretch?

For example, if I come to the realization that I’m ridiculiously happy, this probably means it’s something that’s been building.  I’ve really been moderately happy for some time.  On the other hand, if I find myself desperately lonely, I’ve most likely been somewhat lonely for a while.

I’m thinking about this because this is where I find myself.  It’s Christmas Eve, and I’ve spent most of the day being sick with a cold and reading other people’s Christmas blogs.  Maybe I’m looking in the wrong places but I feel somehow like I’ve missed something.  It seems like bloggers fall into one of two categories on Christmas:

1. “I f*^king hate everyone and the entire holiday season. Pass the vodka.”

2. “I love Jesus and I’m spending this wonderful season with my perfect family and dear friends, all of whom happen to live in one town.”

This is really not working for me.  Yes, I hate the holiday season (pass the vodka).  Yes, I think Christmas is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Jesus.  And no, I don’t have a real family to speak of or friends who all live in one place to celebrate with.  Which is how I find myself sitting alone on Christmas Eve, reminding myself that I really do have awesome friends but you don’t get to choose your family.  Don’t get my wrong, I love my dad, but my family is anything but festive and cheerful and loving.  Some things are never easy.

So, Happy Christmas.  To you, to me, to everyone I love so much.  And here’s to New Year’s Eve next week!

H is for Home

Iowa

There is a part of me that actually yearns for this landscape.  The emptiness of the land, the wide-open sky.  A small part of me will always feel at home in the Midwest.  Just a small part, though.  I was sitting at a cafe today with Rose and had to ask her to decipher the Midwestern-ness of the menu.  I’ve had to do this in the South as well.  I guess that’s something I don’t really think about all that often anymore: I’m not actually from anywhere.  Sure, I’ve lived places.  29 places, to be exact.  But I’m not from any of them.

Maybe that’s a good thing, though.  In theory, this means I can make my home anywhere I want.

So…where do I want it to be?

Welcome to Ohio, The Great Potato State

I’m currently in Cherokee, IA, home of cows, corn, cold weather…and my dad.  As I type this I’m burrowing under flannel sheets, 2 blankets, a duvet, a quilt, and an electric blanket.  And I’m not all that warm.  Today’s high was -3 (F), and the rest of the week isn’t exactly looking much better:

Monday: 9/9

Tuesday: 22/0

Wednesday: 9/-4

Thursday: 23/13

Friday: 31/13

This does not include windchills.  And yes, Katharine, I know you’re used to this kind of crap and think I’m a total wimp.  I don’t care.  This is freaking cold!

I was on the phone with Nick earlier, trying to explain to him just how cold it is here.

Nick: How’s Iowa? Is it cold?

Me: Freezing! The high today is -3.

Nick: Seriously? How is that even possible?

Me: I’m standing in the bathroom right now and there’s ice inside the windows.

Nick: Do your parents not have heat?

Me: No, they have heat, and it’s on.  It’s just that cold.

Nick: Can you bottle that and bring it back just so I know what it feels like?

Me: You know when you’re camping and it’s so cold you can’t feel your feet and your skin actually hurts? It’s like that.  Only it just takes about 3 seconds of exposure to make it happen.

Nick: It’s like 50 here.

24

Two big things have happened in the last 24 hours:

1. My productivity has ground to a screaching halt (due in part to my extreme annoyance)

2. I received a box including penguin soap my dad made

That’s right, it’s penguin soap and it’s awesome!

If I don’t turn in any papers at least I’ll be squeaky clean!

Right As Rain

Headed north for Becky’s funeral.

Somehow this incessent rain seems appropriate.

Suddenly I See

I just got the call: Becky’s dying.  Even more than before.  The cancer is everywhere now, and the doctor finally told her to get her affairs in order.  She’s bone-thin, she hasn’t been able to eat in a week.  And suddenly, my plans to go up there on Fall Break have been expedited to this weekend, and I’m smothered in guilt over not visiting since Thanksgiving.  I was too busy.  Suddenly school and work and everything else take their rightful place as less important than family.  Suddenly I see this is NOT who I want to be.