I Wonder as I Wander, Out Under the Sky

There are questions I have had for years, ones that just won’t go away. I know I have no answers, and that I never will, but still they persist. I wonder, are the decisions we make really ours or are they made for us–our actions a mere reflection of something larger, more powerful? I guess what I’m really trying to understand is this: how much am I going to have to give up, and for what gain? There is no way of knowing if this is going to be worth it. If there were, people wouldn’t get into car accidents, unwanted babies wouldn’t be born, true love would happen all the time. Magic 8 balls are only helpful when you’re too young to understand your insignificance; this is why you get them for Christmas when you’re 7. I want answers to questions with which I am only vaguely acquainted. I want to understand a vastness that I can’t even comprehend. When everything is interconnected, I need to know where to start.

The newness is starting to dissolve like sugar on your tongue, leaving only a sticky sweet aftertaste as my life quietly devolves into everything it was before.

Alas, you can’t ride home on a bowl of goat. I’ve always said that.